I'm sorry for not updating, and I need to apologize in advance right now because this entry isn't going to be makeup related or picture heavy. Oh and I probably will make a bunch of grammatical errors, but I just wanna vent and talk straight...
Here's the deal, I understand the frustration from some of y'all about me not updating. I used to get that way with other blogs that I read, but after going through what I'm going through, I understand some people's lack of updating. Life right now is busy, and while I do have some down time, I usually am exhausted or lack inspiration to update. I do check on the comments, just to see what's going on, but can some of you guys just cut me a little slack? It's not like I'm purposely blowing y'all off, I just need a breather. I need time to LIVE life.
I'm sure y'all wonder what I'm doing. From the last entry I posted and deleted, some know that I ended things with my boyfriend of two years. That was the longest relationship that I had been in, and the most serious considering that I started to date him when I was 17 and I'm 19 now. This is the FIRST time in my life where I have had the chance to go out and actually be single. I can actually go to clubs, on dates, or chill with my friends without someone badgering me about it 24/7. If anyone out there knows how that feels, how freeing it feels, HOLLER!
Like some know, I was dating a new guy, nothing serious. I haven't heard from him in a few days, and while it bums me out, I think its okay. I haven't been single, independent, in forever. When I was 17, I didn't even have a drivers license and my parents were really strict. Compound that with a controlling boyfriend and that gives you NO life, no experiences to learn from. So now I have the chance to go out, have fun, make mistakes and learn from them.
I finally went to a club a week or so ago. I had been to one with my ex and a couple of his friends on my 18th bday, but we ended up standing there, doing nothing. I didn't know how to dance, and he didn't either. But I went out with the girls, got my groove on, and had a blast! Pictures to come later...
Then I've been dating the beast, and we had a lot of fun with his friends. New Years Eve was a blast, and though I didn't spend it with the beast, I had fun. Pictures will come later as well. I've actually been able to let loose, and I'm learning how much is too much and how much is too little for me.
One more thing I think I need to address, for those who I added on myspace, don't think you can just go on there and insult me because I won't take name calling from anyone. Listen up, New Years Eve is a night to have FUN, and just because I was having fun and joking around doesn't make me a slut. I really don't care much for name calling, but seriously, if you are some kid 15 year old who hasn't lived life whatsoever, don't be calling me a slut (I have nothing against my younger readers, just this one kid who decided to judge me). People like that make me want to delete my blog!!! Argh!!! Ok enough of my frustration...
So that's what I've been doing, just having fun. I really am fine, and I appreciate all the well wishes and support from y'all. I do miss writing on here, and I'm sorry if I've been missing. To some degree, I kind of feel like I'm losing myself, but I'm guessing its a phase that I hope I'll get over. This breakup hasn't been easy for me, in that I lost a big part of my life simply because I didn't feel any love for him anymore... it makes me think that I won't ever find true love, no matter how idealistic that idea it. I think my dreams are totally unrealistic, and it's hard to get over them since they drove me for so long when I was young... but hey we all go through it I think. And I've had a great support system with my friends, family, and y'all. So thank you all! I will try to get back to y'all soon. With pics and whatnot... I haven't even been wearing my makeup recently, just my liner and mascara because you know how important I think eyes are hehehe... Ok I changed my mind, I will end up posting a pic or two... Here it is!
Here's my FOTD from Dec 30th, my dad's and sister's birthdays. You see, I did keep y'all in mind, otherwise I wouldn't have taken the pics... I just planned on posting them later lol... I don't remember all the items I used, but I'll take a shot at the eyes.
UDPP - base
MAC Bio Green e/s (Pro color) - all over lid (239) .... this is a gorgeous color! I did a pro store haul as well, I'll have to take a pic.
MAC Humid e/s - outer v and crease (217)
MAC Beige-ing Shadestick - base for lower lashline
MAC Newly Minted e/s - lower lashline (219)
MAC Engraved Powerpoint Pencil - upper lashline and waterline ... I was lazy to use another liner on my waterline.
Shiseido Mascara Base & Lifting Mascara
MAC Ricepaper e/s (I think) - highlight (227)
Before I got dressed up and did the hair....
Curled the hair...
My New Years Eve FOTD:
Armani LSF & Powder (Armani Blender Brush)
MAC Emote Blush - contour (168)
MAC Lilicent Cream Blush - apples (136) .... did a haul or two, will post later...
MAC Reflects Antique Gold (from Originals collection) mixed with MAC Gel Mixing Medium - All over lid (242) .... it was really hard to work with!
MAC Fertile e/s (I think) - crease (217)
MAC Shroom e/s - highlight (227)
MAC Engraved Powerpoint Pencil - upper lashline
MAC Graphblack Technakohl Liner - waterline
Shiseido Mascara Base & Lifting Mascara
MAC Hyper Chic (from Stylistics)
My good friend Alan & I... Do I seriously look like a slut in this picture, since that kid thought I did? Obviously if y'all think I'm loose like that, you don't know me. NYE is a time to have fun, and I don't regret anything since I didn't do anything to regret!
Alright, I need some dating advice... damn this dating business is so annoying! The last time I went out with the beast which was Thursday I think, he told me he'd call me... and he hasn't. I prolly should forget about him, huh? I mean he didn't even call or text to say happy new years :( I think I should just enjoy being single for a while, I think deep down I was hoping for something more, but he told me a few weeks back that he didn't want a girlfriend because he has other priorities at the moment..... I should forget him huh? Note: I've been on 5 dates with him I think....
Oh well. My New Years Resolution, besides not spending so much on MAC!, is to stop taking life so seriously. To enjoy life instead of overanalyzing every situation. It's something I think I need to fix, and I plan to do that for the New Year!
Happy Belated New Years everyone! I hope this update suffices for a little, but I hope to come back to y'all in full force again. Thank you for the support!