You ever get one of those days when you feel super negative about yourself? Over the weekend I had one of those days.
I finished working a little early & was determined to get a couple of videos recorded.
I recently cut my hair to get rid of my old ombre. I never noticed how damaged my hair was until I did. I went to my normal hair stylist & I really feel like she was trying to get me to pay an extra $60 to dye my hair back to my natural color. I don't know, I feel like I'm super stingy with where my money goes these days. I guess being all grown up & having bills & taking care of family takes precedence over being more frivolous with my money. Anyways, I didn't want to pay that much just to go back to my natural color. HELLO, I can get box dye for like $10 at the store & do it myself. So anyways, she kept making comments about "the hairstyle would look good if your hair wasn't this color". In actuality, once I got home I felt like the ends were WAY too thinned out & wispy looking. The bangs I wanted look awful. I hate it.
I dyed my hair using box dye & silly me, I kept the color on my entire head the same amount of time, roots to tip. My tips were really light from the ombre so by the time I washed it all out, my ends were like so dark, like black instead of dark brown. It's washed out over the past few weeks.
In any case, I was trying out a curling wand & I don't know if it's the barrel size I used or that my tips are crazy dry, it turned out a hot mess. I then tried to do another video with the hairstyle & looking back at the footage 1) my hair looked like shit & 2) my lighting was all bad.
So basically I felt super insecure about myself & it showed through on my video. The whole point of me doing my blog & YouTube is for fun. So as long as it's still fun, I'll keep doing it.
This has been my philosophy since day one in blogging & YouTubing (I guess I should start saying vlogging). I took breaks from my blog & YouTube when it became more of a hassle than fun. This is my hobby, the thing I like to do on my free time so why screw around with it if it feels more like a job?
I was just SO frustrated that I wasted a few hours of my time and have nothing to show for it. Ugh I'm being so negative about it. But just being honest. I'm sure I'll bounce back, just some dumb shit I'm dealing with in general that I don't feel like writing about so my hair being a hot mess is so low on my list... it's just the only thing I feel like sharing haha. Why can't life be a little easier like when I used to complain about school?!?
Ok enough of my negativeness... just needed to vent. I'll be posting one of my stockpiled videos sometime this week. After this one, I'll only have one other prerecorded video left.... then I gotta get back into making videos on the regular. Hoping I can keep it up with it still being busy season for another 2 months.
Thanks for listening & letting me get some catharsis.